The Time Merchant

So sometimes I get in weird moods and send bizarre texts to my friends. This was inspired by scam messages you get online.

Hi hi, I am a humble time merchant. You see I sell time insurance. Now what is time insurance you ask? Why my friend, time insurance is simply something you must have. You see out there there are these creatures called time mages. Now these beings, these monsters are different to someone such as me. That’s why you should trust me. I sell you protection against these scoundrels.

This time insurance, this protection saves you from losing precious minutes from these beasts. Now what is the asking price for my protection. Now you’d agree time is precious, after all we only get to live this wonderful life once. I only ask 2.99 a minute saved. That means you pay me for every minute of your life you want protected. How’s that sound? I imagine that sounds pretty reasonable. I guarantee my insurance is Mage proof otherwise I’ll refund you every minute lost.

Now I accept all currencies and for a limited time only, I’ll throw in a time worn coat. Which will make you fit in amongst the time mages.

I pray you choose the smart way of protecting yourself. Good day.


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